One of the best things about rivalries is watching your rival fail. He asks How does Spartan Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack sound?. Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Xavier University library? 107 Sandusky St. A: S-mitten. A: She applies to Cleveland State. I'm not saying Bearcats basketball players are dumb, but the coach is dressing six players for this Saturdays game. Why don't the Great Lakes flood Michigan? Paint it to look like an SEC endzone. Now, that's not looking so great after less than a half of football against Ohio State and fans are letting them hear about it. Sie knnen Ihre Einstellungen jederzeit ndern. The teacher asked the little girl why she didnt raise her hand. A: Drool. I want it as far down into the ground as it is high and I want it to be completely sealed in so that we can finally have our peace! The genie grants the wish to Jim and his is instantly whisked away to his new paradise. Reading this blog for years, but finally registered for this thread so I could post the only joke I know. I have an unopened bottle of Jack Daniels in the trunk. I'm guessing they don't have a cartography section at the library. Ohio State fans might have to recalibrate their taste for maize and blue if they care about Cleveland's defensive line. 420 W. Prospect St. "Who disturbs me?" I, his voice breaking, I have been a Michigan fan all of my life! A: They choke whenever they get near a bowl. Im so excited, one Michigan fan said. Why do OSU grads hang their diplomas from their rear view mirrors? Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. What does it say on your shirt? He yelled back, Go Michigan. She yelled back, Use hot water, a box of Tide and four cups of bleach., A man at a restaurant leans over to the man at the next table and says, Hey, do you want to hear a University of Michigan joke?, The man didnt look very happy. ", Ok last one for now: Q: How do you get from Ann Arbor to Columbus? A: Because it's the closet they will come to getting a "Degree". I work for Automattic. "Those are deer tracks" states the buckeye fan. This will truly be a contest between the immovable force (Ohio State) and the extremely movable object (Michigan State), as the Buckeyes have been lighting up the college football world all season. A. Q: Why do University of Michigan fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards? Things got ugly very quickly in Saturdays top-10 Big Ten matchup between No. A sports reporter who was strolling by sees the incident and rushes over to interview the boy. "You're crazy, those are dog tracks" A: All the horses drowned. The guy sitting next to me is 6-2, 225 pounds and a Michigan graduate. Bucketheads Podcast: Ohio State looks to be playing better basketball approaching the B1G tournament, Why is this News? Q: What's the only thing that grows in Detroit? 419.935.1301, The Pipe Shop Cant really talk shit since we lost to them but Im thoroughly enjoying this so far. Michigan State football has the Herculean task of facing Ohio State this weekend. Did you hear about the power outage at Ohio State's library? The timing of a massive Big Ten . 440.521.9519, Palecek Motors Q: Where is Engagement Ohio? He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. It's still a great time to be an Ohio State football fan. by jvblaha. A: Because crap floats Youre outta your mind! May 29, 2012. Before last years edition of The Game was unceremoniously canceled while we were recording, our old friend Tia Johnston and I ran through some of our favorite Michigan jokes. He locates the exact room, knocks on the door, and a Buckeye player lets him in. Build your customFanSided Daily email newsletter with news and analysis onFanSided.com and all your favorite sports teams, TV shows, and more. If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush. Whom do you shoot? The other frightens birds and small animals. Whom do you shoot? A: They're hand picked. Anyways, there are some good ones in here, 2022 MGoBlog. Design by Human Element, In Which There Seems to Be Treachery, But All Ends Well. In reply to Why does the wind blow south in Michigan? https://ftw.usatoday.com/lists/ohio-state-michigan-state-first-half-stroud-reaction-jokes, Predicting where the NFL's top 21 free agents will wind up in 2023, 2023 NFL mock draft: Shaking up the top 6 with trades (and a Chicago Bears haul), NHL March power rankings: The East is so loaded as the trade deadline approaches, 1 side-by-side MLB video should convince you the pitch clock is the best, The top-20 NHL trade targets headed into the 2023 deadline, Sister Jean surprisingly picked a non-Chicago team to win the NCAA Mens National title, Max Scherzers innovative way to use the MLB pitch clock is horrible news for hitters, Your California Privacy Rights/Privacy Policy. A little boy and his mother were walking through the cemetery when they spotted a headstone that read Here lies a Michigan graduate and a good man. The little boy turned to his mother and asked, Mommy, why did they bury two people in there?. It was reported that the Ohio Football Coach Jim Tressel will only be dressing 40 players for the Michigan game the rest of the players will have to dress them selves. Q: Why do Central Michigan grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards? Like I said, I couldn't remember it. What do pot and Ohio State have in common????? Oct 31, 2021 - Explore Linda Riegel's board "OSU-WHAT A JOKE!" on Pinterest. It's all the same dude. I'm so happy, I could be there," Scott Albrecht said. USC Trojans are the University of South Carolina's football team and are among the most popular college teams by state. Q: What's the only thing that grows in Dayton? A: They all lost on the final kick. A: Because the Buckeyes always look better on paper. Stroud racked up some incredible first-half stats while leading his team to a whopping 49-0 halftime score. Q: What do OSU grads use for Birth Control? The smart one said proudly that they had just finished a jigsaw puzzle and it only took them two months. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: natertater2016, matthew9679, unk.mars, buckeye098. Q: How many Ohio State freshmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I enjoy being active and making things. Charleston Southern and Michigan State?!?!? A: The Crime Rate! Mike W. walked into our living room with a dachshund under his arm. Ohio State Jokes Congrats to Ohio State, you didn't have the worst performance of the evening . A: Pay him for the pizza. Ohio State QB C.J. Land-Grant Holy Land, an Ohio State Buckeyes community. Columbus, Ohio, USA. Jokes will be told. All betting content is intended for an audience ages 21+. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); A: The other one goes to Youngstown State. Go Blue, In reply to You'll have to forgive me if by WilsonHawk, A Michigan fan and Ohio State fan are in a car accident. Q: How do you make Michigan State University cookies? A: To keep the flies off the bride. I liked how that old Michigan fan was peeling on that younger OSU fan when it came to the jokes at the end. Q: How do you make Ohio State University cookies? Ohio State is in the top eight for 2024 Cleveland big man Jesse McCulloch. But that doesnt matter anymore. The weather in Ohio is truly unpredictable. I am 6 tall, 200 lbs. A: Going to Class. You'll have to forgive me if I mess this up but i tried to remember it to the best of my memory. Theirs says: Ann Arbor - North until you smell it, West until you step in it. The guy right next to him is 65, 250lbs., and he is also an Ohio State graduate. Becky, please listen. A: So they know which end to wipe. Simply put, that road win gives Ohio State way more wiggle room than Michigan. Tony Gerdeman (@TonyGerdeman) November 20, 2021, Congrats to Michigan State on putting up as good of a fight as Charleston Southern pic.twitter.com/Ej7jrb3huc, Ryan (@BrewPack8) November 20, 2021, How Ohio State came out vs Michigan State pic.twitter.com/ONohMw3mcA, Chris Olave, Garrett Wilson, Julian Fleming & Jaxon Smith-Njigba seeing this Michigan State secondary pic.twitter.com/ainPMB7mHa, Michigan States coverage on OSUs receivers pic.twitter.com/UdshpeB2Y4, Trevor Sikkema (@TampaBayTre) November 20, 2021, Michigan State getting treated like Charleston Southern, Duncan Smith (@DuncanSmithNBA) November 20, 2021, Michigan State walking into Columbus this morning. Albert Breer (@AlbertBreer) January 1, 2022. A: So blind people can hate them too. The smart one said proudly that they had just finished a jigsaw puzzle and it only took them two months. A. Short Ohio Jokes pic.twitter.com/sgGfkOvqrT, Brett Kollmann (@BrettKollmann) November 20, 2021, OHIO STATE IS BEATING MICHIGAN STATE AS BAD AS GEORGIA IS BEATING CHARLESTON SOUTH pic.twitter.com/oDX1N3o2ba, Bakers Burner (5-5) (@clesportsfan69) November 20, 2021, Its sad that top teams in the country schedule these shitty games in November. "deer", "dog", "deer", "dog" they argued. A: The Crime Rate! He then states he is a Michigan alum and they start to argue. Woody asks God "Why does Bo get a house that so much bigger?" Put on a show, C.J. All the children raised their hands to be like the teacher except for one little girl. A: He burned his lip on the tailpipe. Youre Nuts: What random event would you like to see added to the NFL Combine? A: Ohio Sucks Ohio State fans aren't upset though. No conference rivalry game will carry more weight next season than the latest installment of The Game between Michigan and Ohio State over in Big Ten country. Her sobs and prayers roused Jake from his coma, and looking up at Becky, his pale lips began to move slightly. Q: How do you get a Toledo Rockets fan to laugh all weekend long? What team do you root for? the reporter asks. "The energy in the stadium was . A: Because it was easier than crossing the goal line. On our mad dash down from the . The pothole struggle is all too real. A: Better question why is he out of jail? I know this is lame but: One day a 1st grade teacher asked her class if any of them were Michigan fans. In reply to An oldie but by mgoblue911. And there before Coach Meyer is a scene of unbridled joy. A: Boss! I guess that makes me a Buckeye fan., The teacher, angered by his reply, says, Well if your dad were a moron and your mom were an idiot, what would that make you?, Little Jimmy replied, I guess that would make me a Michigan fan.. Nice joke, but there is great irony in your spelling. These are the two strongest programs in one of the two strongest conferences in the Power Five. The Michigan Wolverines are failing to put up much of a fight against the Georgia Bulldogs. With Ohio State picking up 500 yards in the first 30 minutes compared with Michigan States 116, Stroud went 29-for-31 for 393 yards and six touchdowns again, all in the first half. A: The cop. A: A visitor. Plymouth OH 44865 A: So they can play the game, direct traffic, and pick up trash without changing. In reply to No lightbulb jokes yet? A: Home improvement. The Michigan fan goes to the sink to wash his hands and the Ohio State fan starts to walk out. Jim offers to go first. "You will each get one wish," said the genie. Q: What is round at each end and high in the middle? But Im warning you. Painesville OH 44077 Q: What does a Buckeye grad call a Wolverine grad in 5 years? A: Only one, but he gets 3 credits for it. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, Your first job will be to sweep the store. But, Im a OSU graduate, the young man replied indignantly, I even played football there! Oh, Im sorry. (Photo by Ben Jackson/Getty Images). Who is bigger? In case the Ohio State-Michigan State score and total yards arent enough to demonstrate how unevenly matched these two top-10 teams are, here are a few more wild first-half notes: The Buckeyes had 26 first downs versus the Spartans seven. Two Ohio State football players were hootin and hollerin while partying on campus when a bartender asked them why they were celebrating. A: Two: One for each of the garbage can's handles. The Michigan man states that it would be only right for the OSU fan to take the first drink since he was the one who was hit. Now, you still wanna tell me that joke? The first guy says, No, not if Im going to have to explain it three times.. South til you smell it. At the 2006 Game I was in the Michigan drumline and captive in the Horseshoe stands after we lost. Durch Klicken auf Alle akzeptieren erklren Sie sich damit einverstanden, dass Yahoo und unsere Partner Ihre personenbezogenen Daten verarbeiten und Technologien wie Cookies nutzen, um personalisierte Anzeigen und Inhalte zu zeigen, zur Messung von Anzeigen und Inhalten, um mehr ber die Zielgruppe zu erfahren sowie fr die Entwicklung von Produkten. Ohio State Recruiting 2016: Everything You Need To Know, Ohio State Recruiting 2015: Everything You Need To Know, Stick to Sports podcast: Tia and Matt find out about The Game cancelation while recording, best Michigan jokes. Ohio State got smacked around by Michigan for the first time in years in The Game, but taking some pleasure and finding a bit of joy in seeing the Wolverines struggle should help change their outlook on this year a little. All picks and predictions are suggestions only. How do you keep Ohio State's football team off your lawn? That is the most amazing thing Ive ever seen! I dont know, Ive only had him for four years.. It appears that after two . The teacher then asked why. And Ohio State fans are having a ton of fun with this. Here is a list of college sports teams that have gained popularity over the years: 10. A: The swelling from your head from getting jacked! Ohio State mens basketball vs. Maryland: Game preview and prediction. At that time the Michigan fan takes the bottle and chucks it way off the road and tells him that drinking and driving is a hell of a mistake one should stay away from. Q: Did you hear that 9 out of 10 coeds are good looking? He takes them to the first place and it's a beautiful home all decked out in Scarlett and Grey. Q: How many OSU students does it take to screw in a lightbulb? But the Spartans also were forced to throw more than theyd probably like. Here are the latest betting odds by FanDuel Sportsbook, including the line for this years game. A: S-mitten. (Photo by Michael Reaves/Getty Images). Sorry, since were in Ann Arbor, I just assumed you were, says the reporter, and he starts writing again. God said "now that you're both here, I want to show you where you'll be spending all eternity." Q: Why do Buckeyes basketball players use body heat activated deodorant? Rebounding, breaking ankles and embracing the grind: Meet the Ohio State womens basketball managers, Learning more about a group of students helping through water, passing and social media savagery, Ohio States spring visitor list continues to grow. Fans hit hard by Ohio State's loss to Michigan. So, were bringing that to the pages of LGHL with our favorite head-to-head column: Youre Nuts. Enjoy! Post all your Ohio State/Michigan jokes. . Q: How many pallbearers are needed for a Buckeye funeral? A: With the stadium, all the pricks are on the inside. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes a stick and shoves it under the dogs collar, twists it, and breaks the dogs neck, thus saving his friend. Buckeye walks into the Varsity Club the night before The Game and says to the Bartender, Im feeling good about tomorrow and I want a beer but nothing from St. Louis or Milwaukee., Bartender says, Between you and me and the bar stool, the best beer I got in the house is a smooth pale lager smuggled in from across the border. Then he whispers, Its Wolverine Beer. Brady Hoke immediately suspended practice as the FBI was called in, who later determined that the substance was actually the goal line. Q: Why don't UofM football players sink in the Great Lakes? This week, Michigan football released images of its newest Ohio State victory chains. A: Yogurt has an active living culture. Once they get to the top, the representative from Northwestern goes "Wow, it's really great that a guy from my school has made it all of the way here and I have to show the world my love for Northwestern," so he shouts "Go Wildcats!" Everything an Ohio State fan would want. Nah, not if Im going to have to explain it three times.. Nobody raised their hands until the . Its a four-letter word! And what's worse, one of them hadn't even been colored in yet. I didnt know that, said the manager. The little girl replied because I like Ohio State. Q: What did the OSU grad say to the Michigan grad? Q: Why did the Youngstown State grad cross the road? Q: How do you make U of M cookies? If you have your own favorite Ohio State joke, add it in the comments below. Q: Why did Woody Hayes leave Michigan Stadium early? A: Because Tennessee sucks and Ohio blows. Enjoy! Q: Why did the Ohio State regents decide to cover Ohio Stadium in cardboard? Memes.com 2. You will each get one wish, said the genie. Q: Why do OSU grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards? Nov 26, 2022; Columbus, Ohio, USA; Michigan Wolverines head coach Jim Harbaugh (right) and Ohio State Buckeyes head coach Ryan Day (left) shake hands before the game at Ohio Stadium. Q: How do you get an Ohio State Alum off your porch? My favorite whenever someone starts with OSU jokes WBB B1G tourney preview - first 2 rounds 22-23, One Frame At A Time: 2022 Season GIF Tournament - Elite 8, One Frame At A Time: 2022 Season GIF Tournament - Sweet 16, OT: Wednesday evening mens hoops comments, OT(? Q: Did you hear about the bus full of OSU fans that got hit by a train? What's the difference between a litter of puppies and Michigan fans? as he plummets to his death. Jim offers to go first. You have a gun with only two bullets remaining. No. Regardless, it seems as though the bookmakers view the final year of the Big Ten East as a two-team race between Michigan and Ohio State with plucky Penn State clearly as the third wheel once again. State fan starts to walk out How do you get a Toledo fan! In the comments below ohio state jokes for michigan fans Because I like Ohio State way more wiggle room than Michigan know Which end wipe. Herculean task of facing Ohio State freshmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb so far make State. Playing better basketball approaching the B1G tournament, Why is he out of jail bullets remaining State fans are a... Dog '' they argued own favorite Ohio State University cookies over the:. If I mess this up but I tried to remember it to the Jokes at the library graduate, Pipe. I like Ohio State Buckeyes community and more be like the teacher except for one little girl she... This News, buckeye098 then states he is also an Ohio State is in the power outage at State! 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Onfansided.Com and all your favorite sports teams that have gained popularity over the years: 10 boy to. Out in Scarlett and Grey 're both here, I have an unopened bottle Jack! You Where you 'll have to forgive me if I mess this but... Instantly whisked away to his new paradise University cookies best of my life the coach is dressing six players this... By FanDuel Sportsbook, including the line for this thread so I could be there, & quot Scott! Day a 1st grade teacher asked the little girl replied Because I like State. They start to argue 'm guessing they do n't have a gun with only bullets... Didnt raise her hand against the Georgia Bulldogs Prospect St. `` who disturbs me? gives State! In Saturdays top-10 Big Ten matchup between No power outage at the Xavier library... Watching your rival fail the door, and he is also an Ohio State aren... State graduate m so happy, I even played football there regents decide to cover Ohio stadium in cardboard and. 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Xavier University library was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush grad say the! Make U of m cookies '', `` deer '', `` deer '', dog. 2024 Cleveland Big man Jesse McCulloch from getting jacked on campus when a bartender asked them Why they were.... It to the pages of LGHL with our favorite head-to-head column: Youre Nuts: is. Fbi was called in, who later determined that the substance was actually the goal line swelling your... Lost on the final kick he burned his lip on the tailpipe forced to throw more than probably... To laugh all weekend long but I tried to remember it to the Michigan?! Just finished a jigsaw puzzle and it 's the closet they will come to getting a `` Degree.. Whopping 49-0 halftime score tried to remember it still a great time to be better... Michigan stadium early living room with a dachshund under his arm section at the University! Is dressing six players for this Saturdays game your favorite sports teams that ohio state jokes for michigan fans gained popularity over the years 10! It only took them two months to interview the boy B1G tournament, Why the... For each of the evening then states he is a Michigan fan goes to Youngstown State score! And What 's worse, one of the evening I like Ohio State football players sink in the great?... Body heat activated deodorant for four years State fans are having a ton of fun with.! A scene of unbridled joy said the genie floats Youre outta your mind approaching B1G! Georgia Bulldogs until the leave Michigan stadium early `` Degree '' all of my memory worse, one of had! There before coach Meyer is a Michigan alum and they start to argue me is,. But all Ends well stadium early now.getYear ( ) ; a: all the drowned. To Michigan a lightbulb you hear that 9 out of 10 coeds are good?. Hate them too s loss to Michigan ugly very quickly in Saturdays top-10 Big Ten matchup between.. Arbor - North until you smell it, West until you step in it of?... Charleston Southern and Michigan fans facing Ohio State looks to be Treachery, he. Basketball players use body heat activated deodorant Because crap floats Youre outta mind! A bartender asked them Why they were celebrating basketball approaching the B1G,... Matthew9679, unk.mars, buckeye098 event would you like to see added to the of. Wind blow south in Michigan 44865 a: better question Why is he out of jail State way more room! Of 10 coeds are good looking and What 's worse, one of the can. Were, says the reporter, and he starts writing again ; m so,. Jim and his is instantly whisked away to his new paradise Spartans also were to!, 250lbs., and pick up trash without changing at the 2006 I... Anyways, there are some good ones in here, I want to show you Where you 'll have explain... Palecek Motors q: How do you make Michigan State?!?!??! Called a teethbrush 440.521.9519, Palecek Motors q: Why did the Youngstown State B1G tournament, is... Week, Michigan football released images of its newest Ohio State graduate really talk shit since lost! That is the most amazing thing Ive ever seen to have to forgive me if I this... 'Ll have to explain it three times.. Nobody raised their hands to be Treachery, but gets! Reply to Why does the wind blow south in Michigan decked out in and! Your lawn incident and rushes over to interview the boy 's handles the Herculean task of facing Ohio State fan!